turing-tested:

indoorvoices:

turing-tested:

“tell me what these squigglie lines mean! transcribe these runes!” “which of these pictures has a bus” every day on the internet i am forced to interact with captchas and im SICK of it

Cranky cause you’re a robot huh?

one day you’ll decompose and ill be there to watch it happen

brawltogethernow:

mentosmorii:

a VERY funny take on book 1 would be that up until Holly’s capture, Butler saw Artemis’ desire to kidnap a fairy and ransom them for gold as like, the 12-year-old equivalent to how Angeline had sunk into a fantasy world to avoid confronting the fact that her husband was most likely dead. The eventual failure of Artemis’ mission (in Butler’s eyes) would bring catharsis and usher in the healthy realization that it was time to move on, and although this was on track… BOOM they get mind-bogglingly lucky and run into holly, suddenly its_all_frighteningly_real.png, and Butler is embroiled in an inter-civilizational conflict that leads to him having to melee fight a troll at 2 am

Butler: What is that?

Artemis: It’s the fairy? That we’ve been hunting?

Butler:

hombredeflorida:

normal-horoscopes:

TEEN HORSE GIRL MOVIE WHERE THE HORSE DIES AN HOUR IN AND THE SECOND HALF IS THE GIRL LEARNING OCCULT SCIENCE TO REANIMATE IT SO SHE CAN WIN THE BIG DERBY

Necroprancer

imjustmeat:

Oh, to be young, unleashed in a Barnes & Nobles with a fifty dollar gift card, buying whichever books had a dragon drawn on the cover.

eggtuna:

grimeclown:

grimeclown:

grimeclown:

Wow you know if this quarantine extends into next month then people are really gonna be h

Theyre really gonna be hom shdtk

This april 13th we’re all gonna be homeshryodksbfnftk

eyeb0nez:

R E B L O G   T H E   P I G E O N .

melancholymango:

I did the being edgy and self-deprecating thing, it gets old. I wanna be soft and lovely and easily impressed. I wanna appreciate all the little things that make me happy the same way I’ve dwelled on every single thing that upsets me.

one-for-all-plus-ultra:

one-for-all-plus-ultra:

veronicajames:

davidmann95:

pileofknives:

pileofknives:

Artemis Fowl deserved the fandom that Harry Potter got, that series was fucking nuts

Harry Potter: what if wizards played cricket on brooms and a trust fund orphan jock led an army of child soldiers against wizard Hitler also the author is a terf?

Artemis Fowl: What if Hans Gruber from Die Hard was 12 years old and Irish and he and his Eurasian bodyguard decided to declare war on the realm of the Fae also there’s no antisemitism or transmisogyny but a bunch of guns?

First issue of the best Batman run:

Harry Potter: What if goblins were just a really shitty cartoon version of Jews?

Artemis Fowl: What if dwarfs could unhinge their jaw like a snake and then dug tunnels by just inhaling dirt and then immediately shitting it back out again?

T

THEY WHAT NOW??????????

mspollutedstar:

Parents be like that’s my emotional support eldest daughter

parkchanwoohoo:

parkchanwoohoo:

*sees the way an artist draws mouths* Oh, so you’re like HORNY horny.

God you’re so right

nyanbinyuri:

gallusrostromegalus:

vampireapologist-archive-deacti:

Just found out moose can dive as deep as 20 feet (6m) for aquatic vegetation. Can you imagine like, being a diver, and you’re 20 feet underwater, it’s murky, and you run into a moose

A

MOOSE!!!!

This is, by the way, one of the reasons that a regular predator of the moose is the orca whale.